And Now: A Few Thoughts from Dave McCoy, My Partner-in-Stupidity, My Friend, and My Brother. 1

Today I’ve been indulging, not in self pity, but serious reflection of who and what I am. I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to not only face my demons but to stand before my Father in heaven and be accountable.

I so desire to be transparent just like my younger brother, Lloyd. I stand accountable to Christ and to those I come in contact with on a daily basis.
I am no doubt a sinner striving to be righteous, and more times than not feeling as though I fail. I know in my heart of hearts that God loves me, definitely more than I love myself.

I’ve been trusted as a steward of His to do His work on the reservation (Pine Ridge, SD) and in doing so promoting God’s gifts of grace and salvation.
Entering in like a gang buster, almost fifteen years later I feel like I’m succumbing to the world .

I remember as a youngster my relatives always asked “Crockett”,what do you want to be when you grow up? I was referred to as Crockett because my mom and I lived with my grandparents in Winchester,Indiana and already had an uncle Dave living in the house, and it stuck. Well I responded with some of the old standbys; fireman, doctor, baseball player, all, reasonably respectable professions.We already had our share of “CHARACTERS” in the family.

As I reached my very early teens, I had the opportunity to watch, in black and white, the movie, King of Kings – you know, the one with Jeffery Hunter. It moved me to tears.Suddenly to everyone’s surprise, I wanted to become a preacher! Imagine that.

Well the junior high and high school years took hold only to feed my rebelliousness hence postponing my calling. As time went on I submerged myself into drugs, alcohol, and women, until I realized that these things weren’t filling the emptiness inside me.

I began an earnest search for sobriety, and that one – and only – thing that can fill us up. I wasn’t much for traditional, mainstream churches or denominations. It seemed as though God was leading me in another direction. It felt to me that I was being drawn into a true, personal relationship with Jesus through native spirituality. Helping to start a new native church, and attending as an elder felt right.

My dream then became to move to the “Rez” and work as a missionary. As time passed, it seemed as though it wasn’t in the cards. I entered ministry with the Nazarene church occasionally speaking around the local area.

One Easter Sunday in Columbus Indiana, I was introduced to nieces of Rich Mullins and persuaded to go on a mission trip to Pine Ridge Rez in South Dakota. Preparing for the trip out there required a bible study for those of us who were going. I was warned multiple times about Lloyd, Rich’s middle brother who had spent 20 years in the Air Force, with no explanation. The rest is history.

On that first trip, my knowledge and understanding of Native culture was somewhat beneficial to the entire group, and by the end of the first week I was asked to become a brother to an 80-year-old elder in the community. Of course I accepted . . . and so the journey began.

This land,called the northern plains will spiritually permeate the very marrow of your heart and soul. It is rich in history and the very opposite of what we’ve been taught about a people genocidally defeated, their culture stripped away at the hands of our government, and placed in one of the most inhospitable parts of our country (read stats for Pine Ridge Rez).

I HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH THESE BROTHERS AND SISTERS, and they are teaching me the ways of life.

As the sun begins to breech the horizon over the Missouri river, it’s as though God’s face is shining brightly onto a new and majestic world, and I can only stare in awe.

The hidden history of a time and of a people seem to come to life in my spirit. These proud people who have endured genocide,starvation physical abuse and total alienation at the hands of an uncaring, desensitized, self-gratifying, so-called Christian nation. I sometimes feel the guilt that comes with being one of, or associated with, my own race.

God (Tunkashila) is, however, a breaker of those walls of social injustice. He restores us with a new mind and a heart of flesh, and suddenly we see the truth – that we are all His children by His love, grace and mercy.

I can feel the blood of my Lakota brothers and sisters flowing through my veins with the strength of a Buffalo, and I know that I am accepted as one of them. Family.

One of man’s greatest innermost needs is one of acceptance, to be needed, wanted, desired. God longs for us to receive Him and all of those qualities of character that he freely offers us so that we might have a good life, a life of freedom.

Lately, I’ve been watching and listening to the music of my favorite musician and the thoughts of people who knew him best, and thinking about the legacy he left behind.

I would like to take a moment and let his family know how much I love and appreciate their acceptance and love. I want to thank all of those friends who have worked so hard, for so long, to help this mission organization be, to some, a success (Nape’ na Si’ ministries). I feel like we’re all one big family crossing cultural and religious boundaries,and yet still serving the same God.

Autumn is here now, and I feel like I’m in the autumn of my life. I was once asked by my dear friend Ron if I would move to the “Rez”. My response was, “I’m like Moses, I can get us there, but probably won’t cross over into that promised land.” More and more, with each passing day and year, I feel like the time is growing close.

I was born a hundred-fifty years, and a million tears too late.Maybe better said, two-thousand years too late.

Peace to all.

BE GODS